Wall-to-Wall

Ok, so I recently moved into a new apartment. I am absolutely loving it, like whoa, and can't even tell you how much better I am in my life. I live downtown above the YMCA, I walk to work every day and there is a Panera, Juice Stop, Starbucks and Red Mango within minutes of my little moving feetsies. And, I've decided I should probably start wearing tutus, stilettos and outrageous hats and clothes, just to embrace my inner Carrie Bradshaw. It only seems fitting.

Sounds like the best thing ever, right? Well, it was until I met my neighbor. Neighbor will now be known as Norman Bates. I didn't see aforementioned Norman for a solid 5 weeks after I moved in. I wasn't even sure anyone lived there. I knew the walls were well insulated and and the noisy college kids lived on the other side of the hallway, but I thought I would at least hear something from the elusive Norman.

I spoke too soon. One day after work, my friend and I were walking down the hallway to my place to change before heading down to work out at the Y. We were right outside my door and my key was just in the lock when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, we hear a subtle shaky man voice. "Hello Husker Girls." Ummmmm, what? He went on to tell us that he went to the University once.....What?

We practically jump into my apartment away from the awkward situation that just occurred. My first encounter with Norman and I get the feeling that he has been watching me and knows that I wear a lot of Husker gear and therefore have some sort of connection to the University? Weird. We were not wearing any clothing that would designate an affiliation with the U, so I'm pretty sure that Norman has had his eye on muah. Ick.

I saw Norman a couple days later as I was stealthily leaving my place iPod earbuds in place and sharp keys in proper hand placement ready to jab the jugular. He wanted to discuss the weather - I commented on the wind.

My brother asked me which walls Norman and I shared. That angle of creepiness hadn't crossed my mind, but now that I thought about it, we share my bedroom and bathroom walls. Uh muh gawd. Stupid brother put ideas in my head that Norman has probably installed a cam in my bathroom mirror and there is a hole behind my headboard artwork. Awesome.

Please note, if you don't see me for several days or you smell a warm gory scent wafting from my open windows, Norman has struck again and the Husker Girl has just been psycho'd.